The Author

I'm a procrastinator who refuses to acknowledge the fact that I can't stay 21 forever. Lives to eat and complains when the weight piles on. I also love my fat gay boyfriend to bits. Almost everyone and everything annoys me unless I say otherwise. Oh ya.. if you don't like what you see here, kindly click on the back button or the close button on the upper right corner and save me the trouble of reading how unappropriate you think my blog is.

Reasons for procastination:

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All entries here are in no way related to anybody dead or alive. If you are offended by any of the contents, leave. Nobody is forcing you to read. The author takes no responsibilities on any emotional feelings or damage felt after reading the entries. If you feel that the entries are emotionally disturbing, please, have some sense and leave. The author knows that even if this disclaimer has been written and read by the readers, some jackass will still take offence on the entries. So before you post a comment on how I offended you or how inappropriate my entry is, save it, the DELETE button was created for a reason.

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people has had their mind replaced since December 10, 2004

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My Life, My Story

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No need to conjure up silly titles. Go away.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The worst feeling in the world is wanting what you KNOW is utterly impossible to have. Makes you feel all crummy because there's absolutely NOTHING that you can do or even try to do to obtain it. The lack of control that I have over this stupid want is driving me insane. Sigh~

Also..I feel a lil' crazy when I find the sound of my laptop's keyboard therapeutic. I know my recent posts have been very negative and emo but it's what I've been going through of late. Even I feel dark when I re-read all my posts. Anyway since I'm not particularly feeling very cheery and bubbly, I'm not gonna pretend that I am. I've gone off the pill so that my emo-ness won't take over and I've been pretty much able to control both my temper and emotions as they have not been unleashed all over the place. Pretty proud given that I would have loved to rip somebody's head off..I didn't. However I still pretty much feel the need to jab a screwdriver into his car and drag it ALL over and say "Oops! I couldn't control my temper." and shrug it off. Fucking retard. Be a bloody man and own up to your own mistake. Don't give me the bullshit about how you have a temper and how you can be a loose cannon. It doesn't make up for the lack of professionalism and leadership skills that you have. Think of who you're getting into trouble with and who you are dragging down with you before you fucking talk. Urgh.. fricken disgusted. Honestly the epitome of blatant stupidity and even that is an understatement.

Current Mood: Bloody pissed
Current Song: Everclear - AM Radio

written by puckishkel at 12:22 pm
Yay!2 ego booster(s)

Lazy sunday evenings
Sunday, March 15, 2009

There was a time not too long ago when I wrote everything I felt and thought down. Anyone who has been following my blog since 2004 would have noticed that I no longer post up super angsty post or openly commenting on things or people that pissed me off. I've stopped writing about things that evoke any strong emotions with exception to fat boy.. even then, I no longer write posts about the frustrations that I have about our relationship. As must as I would love to divulge my deepest fears, write about all my angst and disatisfaction, I can't help but feel a lil' too exposed.

Even now as I sit here writing this, I find myself deleting line after line and meticulously picking the right words to use.. double checking every sentence to ensure that I've not revealed too much. Maybe it's part of growing up. Maybe it's because I've started working and I no longer enjoy the ability to write whatever I want and not fear that someone might chance upon it and cause implications onto my career. Maybe because I'm now awared that people I know in real life are reading this.

Anyway, I'm gonna digress and thank everyone who's been kind enough to call or leave me a message on MSN just to check on me. The results came back negative except for a small tiny lesion on the right which I need to keep and eye on and go back for a check in 6 months. May the next post be a happier one:D

Current Mood: Bored
Current Song: Nickelback - How you remind me

written by puckishkel at 10:24 pm
Yay!2 ego booster(s)

In 15 short months
Wednesday, March 04, 2009

My entire immediate family has been in and out of the hospital. It's really hard to stay positive and refrain from sinking into myself with the chain of events unfolding almost immediately one after the other.

Nov '07
My aunt suffered a stroke out of nowhere.
Mom was bedridden for two months
I found out that I had an ovarian cyst the size of an orange

Dec '07
Had the cyst removed and I honestly thought that was the end of it all

Feb '08
Fat boy's grandad had a cancer scare and had his intestines removed

Mar '08
The last of all my grandparents passed on.. a day before my RHCT exams

Jul '08
Dad found mom on the kitchen floor in a pool of blood. She was defecating blood the whole night and didn't want to wake us up because "you guys are really tired:". Hospitalized on the same day, which coincidentally was father's day, and was given 2 pints of blood. It was the first time that I saw my mom in that light looking small and frail.

Sept '08
A very very close cousin who I grew up with passed away at the age of 32 leaving behind 2 kids aged 4 and 6.

Jan/Feb '09
What started out as gastritis metasized into coronary artery disease and my dad is currently recovering from an angioplasty.. Fast forward 3 days after his bypass..

Mar '09
The doctor confirmed a lump in my left breast and am going for a scan tomorrow to get the characteristics of the lump.  

It's been a long long 15 months. I'm praying really hard that I'm gonna go into the room tomorrow and learn that it's nothing after all. Manda thinks that something has disturbed the feng shui of the house and honestly, I don't doubt it. Sigh~ I just want all of this to be over and done with:(

Current Mood - Upset
Current Song - Moonlight Resonance's Theme Song 

written by puckishkel at 10:03 am
Yay!1 ego booster(s)

WTF is with blogdrive
Thursday, February 05, 2009

What is it with blogdrive and my posts not showing up 12 hours after I've published it! Fucking stress. Stupid engine.. This is not good for my rage ARGHHHH


EDIT: The posts decided to show when I forcedfed it with another post..

written by puckishkel at 12:10 pm
Tell Me You Adore Me

Lunar new year 2009..BAH!
Wednesday, February 04, 2009

It's that time of the year again where all the unmarried people sit around doing nothing but extend their palms to receive free money and once again I'm really late in making the greeting on my blog. Sigh~ this place is really getting mouldy. Anyway.. not really in the mood to write long entries. In 15 months, over the span of 2007, 2008 and 2009, 3 out of 4 members of my family has gone in and out of Pantai. First it was me, then mom and now it's dad. Fricken' great way to kick start the lunar new year. 

What started as acute gastritis and jaundice quickly metasized into heart failure. It's really difficult coming to terms that my parents are both aging really fast and it's scaring the living daylights out of me. All this feels really surreal and knowing that they won't be around forever is making everything that much harder. Arghh becoming super emo so I'm just gonna stop here. I hope everyone else had a better CNY than mine. Happy lunar new year all.

written by puckishkel at 11:08 pm
Tell Me You Adore Me

Goodbye 2008!
Saturday, January 10, 2009

Another year has come and gone. 10 days into the new year and already I've been piled on with work, fallen sick and spent more than I earn. 2008 has seriously came and gone in a flash.

2008 has seen me
- distant myself from toxic individuals.
- meet up with manda after 4 years of online friendship.
- cope with losing two of the dearest people in my life.
- drive myself crazy with fear when mom was admitted into the hospital for the very first time in my life.
- worry about the deteriorating health of both my parents
- mellow out a little.....i...think
- drive fat boy's car up a curb (oops:P)
- buy myself a camera with my own moolah
- get myself my very first mani/pedi...addicted ever since.
- build a home with Fat Boy
- ok...this list is getting really difficult to write. I should add interesting things like Brazillian waxing or Bungee jumping or sky diving or backpacking across some exotic foreign land in my todo list for 2009.  At least I would be able to say that I've been interesting in 2009.

May 2009 be a better year than the last. To a better year ahead!

Time to get a DSLR to make better shots. Canon EOS 40D FTW!

Happy 2009 everyone!

Current Song: Jason Mraz feat. James Morrison - Details in The Fabric
Current Mood: Sleepy...yawn

written by puckishkel at 10:08 pm
Yay!1 ego booster(s)

Then & Now
Wednesday, January 07, 2009

With the intention of cleaning up my hard disk, I went through all my photos folders to delete unwanted shots and came across this picture. I've not shared it with anyone before because it reminded me of how crappy I felt when the picture was taken and also because it's embarassing showing the world what you look like after you've spent the entire night bawling your eyes out like the world was coming to an end or when you take the final scoop of Promite and realise that you no longer have Promite!

This was my attempt at a genuine smile
This was taken in 2006, a month after Fat Boy (then known as Vin Diesel :P) came to visit me in Brissy. We were waiting for the bus to the train station because he was flying home to Malaysia. I remember waving to him as he stood on the platform when I boarded the train from the airport back to the train station. Walking home in a daze, skipping all three classes of the day then curling up on the couch in front of the TV. I was all emo and wrote this post. Ahhh memoriesTongue And this is

Taken last Saturday at his cousin's wedding
I KNOW! See how fat he has become! ...and this is how my Vin Diesel turned into my Fat Boy.

Current Mood: Stuffed
Current Song:  Diana Krall - Just The Way You Are

written by puckishkel at 01:55 pm
Yay!7 ego booster(s)

Home Made Fishballs
Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I'm pretty much sick of eating presevertives laden fishballs outside so I finally got over my usual procrastination and got the recipe to making home made fishballs from my auntie who makes kick ass fishballs and fishcakes..yummyTongue And because Christmas is coming and I'm in a giving mood, I'm gonna share it on my blog (READ: I just want to fill space in my now almost dead blog). Anyway here goes.

Prepare the ingredients as per below:


Clockwise from top: Fried onions, Corn Flour, Chinese Cabbage, Anchovies stock (you can use actual anchovies but I was too lazy to peel any), Ikan Tenggiri (Not sure what it's called in English though), Salt and Aji-no-moto (also known as MSG)

Chop the cabbage and make sure you wash it really clean. I've found worms residing in the middle of the leaves before. Not a pretty sight.
Bring the water to a boil (Duh). I used 2 1/4 bowls of water. This actually depends on how many bowls of soup you want in the end. Decide how many bowls you want then add an additional 1/4 bowl of water for evaporation. When the water starts to boil, throw in the anchovies stock and the veggie.

When you put in the veggie, it WILL look like this. Just close the lid and leave the fire on high. It will shrink and turn translucent eventually. Now you can move on to the disgusting bits.

You would need to prepare 1/4 bowl of salt water. Use the normal rice bowl and dunk in about 2 teaspoon of salt. This is to taste, so if you like your fishballs really salty, just add more salt into the water. Just remember that you will need to boil the fishballs, so it would be wise to add a lil' more salt.

Slice the fish into half. You'll need to remove the backbone of the fish. Do NOT throw the rack of bones away. You can, however, bin those stray bones.

Use a spoon and start scraping. Scrape both halves and put them into a that:

You're supposed to end up with this after you finish scraping the flesh away from the skin. Mash it with the spoon.

You'll also end up with 3 disgusting pieces. The skin and the backbone of the fish and being Chinese, this should not be wasted so do it the Chinese way and throw all three into the soup. You can remove them from the broth before serving. This will make the soup sweeter..or so my mom would like me to believe..anyway just dunk it in. You're now supposed to have the anchovies stock, veggie and 3 disgusting looking pieces from the fish in your boiling soup. You can lower down the fire around now.

Add a teaspoon of corn flour to the fish flesh and a pinch of ajinomoto. Mix and mash.

Add a table spoon of water into the mixture and start whisking. I can't tell you how much water to use cause it's a gut and feel thing. But it is quite difficult to whisk so just add water as you go. Don't put too much or you'll end up with a sloppy mess of fish paste and that's disgusting. You'll know you've reached the right consistency when it's a lil shiny and when you touch it lightly with your fingers it will bounce a lil'. Just add table spoon by tablespoon of water as you go whisk.

Keep whisking until it looks something like that and becomes bouncy. And that's it, you're done with the fish paste!

Your soup should look something like that by now.

You're actually supposed to grab the paste and squeeze it out of your hands then scrape the top with a spoon and throw it into the soup but that's seriously disgusting and it reminds me of pooping so I used a rounded spoon instead. Besides, according to Eva, misshapen fishballs proves that they are home made :P

Dunk the paste into the soup. Leave it boiling for about 5 minutes

Throw in a tablespoon of fried onion and turn the fire to high for about 30 seconds and turn the fire off. Serve.
And because I'm disgusting, here's what a half bitten fish ball looks like. Enjoy:P Instead of boiling the fish paste, you could fry it and make it into fish cakes. That's for another day. I'm really lazy to elaborate further. It took me a week just to finish this ridiculously short post. This is how much I've been procrastinating. If I'm not too lazy I'll be sharing the recipe for Asam Sambal Chicken next. Knowing me.. it'll probably be in another month or so. Happy New Year All!

Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: Ben E. King - Stand By Me

written by puckishkel at 01:13 pm
Yay!5 ego booster(s)

Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 25, 2008

I know I've said in Plurk that I will update more in these few days. There's Fat boy's birthday to cover, mine and I'm about 1/4 finish with the home made fish ball post. I've just been really really busy lately and will update as soon as I'm done uploading all the pictures and before I forget all the intricate details of the events. Meanwhile..

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!

written by puckishkel at 09:42 pm
Yay!1 ego booster(s)

Fat Boy's 23rd!
Sunday, December 21, 2008

Happy 23rd birthday Baby!

Thanks for being the fattest, gayest, most awesome boyfriend of all time and though you don't know it yet, I hope you have a great time today!

Muahhhhss.. I'll see you in about 2 hours when I poke you up for your tong yuens:P

1kg of Banana Chocolate and I complain that he's getting fatter:P

Current Mood: Sleepy..up to make glutinous rice balls

written by puckishkel at 07:45 am
Yay!2 ego booster(s)

Don't buy Vista Security
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